Desire Resort Riviera Maya Review
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My resolution for this year was to live a little. The last few years, life has been kinda bland…filled with kid-friendly activities. This year I wanted to do more adult stuff. Right off the bat, my Mr. booked us a trip to Desire Resort Riviera Maya. We heard great things, I read reviews and decided you know what…let’s do it. We planned it for my Spring Break (I’m finishing up my undergrad in Psyc), which was March 19-23. In February, I started planning my wardrobe based on the entertainment event information provided on Desire’s website.
When the time came for Spring Break, I was super excited and a little nervous. I wasn’t sure what to expect. I knew there would be nudity and some swinger couples, but I’ve never witnessed this in person. We flew out of O’Hare to Cancun airport on Sunday morning. Private transportation took us to Desire. The location was somewhat hidden and not advertised on billboards like other popular resorts.
Checking in at the resort was pretty quick. We were offered champagne and given a tour. Our room would be ready at 3 so we ate lunch. There was some mix up regarding our room. We booked the Deluxe Garden View room through a travel agency, but Desire received the reservation as a regular Garden View room. We could switch rooms the following day since upon arrival the resort was completely booked. We ended up not switching rooms because we were just too lazy to repack and unpack and then repack again to leave. We had our sh*t all over the place so we just kept the room we had. We did not spend much time in the room anyway. Overall, it was a great experience and we would probably go back, but next time we would get the Passion Suite. We will be planning another vacay later this year, but I really want to check out the remodeled Temptations which opens in August.
Our room…3 stars
Our room was on the first floor away from the entertainment center. It was small. The “bedroom area” itself was very nicely decorated with lots of mirrors…I wonder why (wink wink), but very tight. The bathroom was also tiny. The shower was pretty big but ugly. The shower head was cracked and water would shoot in my face, annoying, but I dealt with it. The water from the shower would leak out of the bathroom and into the main living area…again annoying and messy. There was no fan in the bathroom so after taking a hot shower, the entire place was humid. It was so humid that everything was wet.
Thankfully the a/c was really good to the point where I actually had to shut it off at night because it would get so cold. The bed was comfy, but the cover was really thin…I slept in a robe because I was cold. And the television…how do I put this…there was like 6 channels: 3 porn, 1 CNN, 1 in Spanish, and an advertising channel. Therefore, we did not watch TV…except for some porn I mean who can resist FREE PORN hahaha. The walls were pretty thick too so you could barely hear other people having sex and could not hear the outside party noise at all. Outside our room were patio tables and chairs…it was quiet. You could sit there, enjoy a cocktail, and relax in peace.
Pool area…4 stars
The pool was a decent size, but smaller than other resorts I have been to and surprisingly there was only 1 pool. There was a swim up bar which is always a plus. Lounge chairs and beds surrounded the pool area for people to relax and sunbathe. The music was pretty crappy…at least for my liking. They played popular hits from like 80’s-90’s. Not my style, I was hoping for more music from this era. Entertainment was also almost non-existent. The area was really clean, modern, and not a sign of damage (I appreciate that since I’m sorta OCD). Staff would walk around serving drinks so you didn’t even need to get up. The buffet was right next to the pool bar so that was pretty convenient.
The beach area was thin but wide. Filled with beds and lounge chairs, it was much quieter and less crowded than the pool area. The water was warm and there was a nice breeze. However, the sand itself was dirty from the coral reef. The Resort staff would clean it somewhat, but it was still pretty unattractive…and no seashells which was disappointing. I like to walk the beach and gather shells to bring home and treasure. I have pretty high expectations for what a beach should look like, feel like, and smell like. It smelled beachy and felt beachy, but the appearance did not meet my expectations.
There were 4 restaurants, we only dined at three of them: Japanese, lunch buffet, and one other one that had a breakfast buffet. We love buffets for variety, however, the buffet here was pretty boring. I am a vegetarian and my Mr. is a pescatarian so that cuts down on the options. My Mr. is also Gluten Free sooooo he ate salad, guac., and some cheese. There were not many options and the food was pretty light. Desserts were okay. There was pizza though…why didn’t I try the pizza?! Dammit, now I wish I ate the pizza! The breakfast buffet was somewhat better (at least for me). There were lots of carbs (breads, croissants, waffles, buns, bagels), there was fruit, sausages, and other common American breakfast foods.
The Japanese restaurant was really good. They were very accommodating to our diets. The restaurants itself was lovely and the staff was very attentive to our needs. They even had a gluten-free menu. We probably ate the most this night. Hubby has salmon, rice, and California rolls, and I just had a whole bunch of veggie sushi rolls. We never got around eating at the fancier of the 4 restaurants. Like I said, we’re pretty lazy people and we just didn’t feel like dressing up all fancy. I heard from other couples at the resort that it was good though.
The best gluten free pizza I have EVER had was at the main bar in the entertainment center. It was absolutely delicious. Thin crust… cheese… yuuuuummm… I’m drooling as I recall.
Again the music was kinda blah. Bachata and some 90’s hits. There was lots of seating and the dance floor was pretty tiny. Like people were smooshed dancing. The bar was pretty decent sized. People didn’t come to the disco for dancing though. The main attraction was the “sin room”. This is where people could have sex next to other people. It was very sexy looking, naughty, almost 50 shades of grey sexy minus the bondage gear.
Jacuzzi area…5 stars
A pretty large area for people to gather during the day and night and have sex openly. The Jacuzzi lounge was located on the second floor allowing some privacy from all the downstairs traffic. There was a bar there, pretty decent. There were I think 7 beds. Lots of seating and the Jacuzzi itself was pretty big. Music, however, was non-existent. I think I recall hearing music one time when a group of people brought in their own mini radio. Otherwise, people just drink and socialize. This is where couples would find other couples to play with.
What’s great about the spa services is that you can get a massage literally at the beach in a little hut. We didn’t do that, we went big and got the erotic couple’s massage which costs us about $350. This was the only service we had performed in the spa. Before you get your message, you get to enjoy the private Jacuzzi with champagne, fruit, and chocolates. They give you 25 minutes to enjoy one another and the jets. They then lead you to the massage room. The erotic massage in case you are wondering is not a happy ending provided by the masseuse. They’re more professional than that there. You do get a happy ending and a nice rub down but by your partner. The masseuses then leave and allow you to do your thing (wink wink!). I learned how to properly oil someone up and rub them down. Overall: great experience!
Desire had two stores, a jewelry store which was kind of hidden in the lobby area and then a regular shopping store outside the lobby (I think it was named “Logo”). Logo had a great variety of necessities, personal hygiene products, medicine, clothing, shoes, lingerie, condoms, lubes, etc. Most importantly they had sex toys…lots of sex toys…very over-priced sex toys and trust me I know this. I found a Hot Octopuss PULSE III duo and it was about $400 US dollars. I rather wait and order on Amazon. There was one toy that resembled the Pulse III by Hot Octopus but the brand was Maia. It was called Maia Mai Ray (shaped like a stingray). It cost in the 100’s. I don’t even recall the actual price, but I looked it up on Amazon and guess what $26! F*ck that! Another one I saw was the Maia Wand again it was totally overpriced. It was interesting to see though and I guess if you are desperate, you will pay.
Nightly Entertainment…3 stars
I give them an A for effort. There was a band or DJ every night. The entertainment staff really tried to get people involved in costume contests, dancing, and games, but I feel like most people just stayed by the bar or lounged on the beds and seating around. The music was the same style as the disco and pool area for the most part. One night it was more rock-n-roll in nature. On the Burlesque night, there was a Burlesque show. This was the most entertaining. It was very sexy but other than that the entertainment didn’t really appeal to me, I’m 28, I have children, I’m on vacation…away from children…I need some wild sh*t to get me going.
For the full description of our stay along with our experiences click here.
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