Interracial Sexual Interactions: Oreo yum yum

race and sex

This was an interesting topic that was recently been brought to my attention and I was asked to discuss it. Given that my experience with interracial sexual interactions is limited, I decided to share what I know based on my educational experience and a little internet research.

The main issue regarding interracial sexual interactions is that although individuals desire it, they have a hard time making it happen. I have been presented with two separate cases one male version and one female version.

Case One

Young African American male desires to have sexual relations with white women, but is having difficulty finding interested candidates so he asks, “Why are white women not interested in black men? Are they scared of us? Are they scared of what we will do to them?”

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Case Two

A young Puerto Rican woman desires to have sexual relations with attractive and successful black man but is having trouble finding these bachelors. She asks for help and advice.


It’s difficult for me to advise my followers regarding these issues without first considering psychosocial factors, ethnic background, and geographic location. Luckily, I took a Psychology course African American Families, so I guess I know a little about the issue presented.

In regards to African American men desiring white women, the psychosocial consensus is that African American men are attracted to the European definition of beauty. They have become acculturated to the dominant white American culture. White women, on the other hand, have somewhat different values, seeking financial stability over physical appearance.

How does this relate to the fact that both sides crave the other yet are somehow unable to find what they are looking for? That’s when the above-mentioned factors come into play.

Ethnic Background

Ethnicity, for the most part, steers us towards cultural norms, those which are associated with our dominant ethnicity. What I’m basically saying is that our ethnic culture guides us regarding romantic relations and that’s a fact.

Our families also influence our choices regarding romantic relationships. African American communities, for example, are much more open to interracial relationships when compared to white communities who may shun interracial couples. So I suppose this is somewhat of a race issue.


Another factor to consider is gender roles which provide us with dating “rules”. These guidelines are a blueprint for how males and females should interact with one another.

So why is this important? Well, because men sometimes wonder why women seem uninterested in them and I think a lot of it has to do with gender roles. According to these gender guidelines, women don’t pick up men, bold women, and sexually adventurous women are “sluts” and thus viewed negatively. Men, on the other hand, are afraid of rejection.

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Geographic Location

Personally, I believe this to be the more influential factor. Some people live in communities that are ethnically concentrated. I grew up in a mixed community, mostly European and Middle Eastern immigrants. I relocated to a more suburban community right before high school. There was literally ONE black guy who attended my high school.

So when I am asked why I have not had sexual relations with black men, I simply state that I didn’t have the opportunity to do so. Growing up, especially during my years of sexual exploration, I had not been presented with the opportunity to have sex with a black man. I made out with a few when I was still a virgin, but nothing more. I also met my current husband when I was 16 so, again not much opportunity to explore.

Back to geographic location though. Some communities encompass much more ethnic mixing, especially the heavily populated urban communities such as Chicago, LA, etc. In such communities, members are provided with more opportunities to interact and develop intimate relations with people of various ethnicities whether black with white, or black with Hispanic or white and Hispanic.

How can this issue be “resolved”?

Honestly, I’m a firm believer in open discussion. I think that if we increase communication between the genders and between ethnic groups, individuals will more likely be able to become physically intimate as a result.

SO MEN…Don’t be scared of women, yes some are b*tches, some will be uninterested so you may be denied, but hey you won’t know till you try. That’s life ya’ll. And I seriously doubt white women are scared of black c*ck.

AND WOMEN…Go out there and get what you crave. Your fantasies and desires will never be fulfilled unless you grow some balls and seek what you want.

So go out there ladies and gentlemen and get laid! You want a sexy black man, be bold and get ‘em gurl! Trust me they want you too!

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