Swingers…A Secret “Taboo” Community


Swingers, a taboo community of people that participate in non-monogamous sexual activities. What does this mean? Basically, these individuals don’t mind sharing their partner for casual sex without any emotional commitment. Swinger couples, many times married, have casual sex with other couples, whereby they swap partners. You would be surprised by how many people are actually members of this “secret” community.

The Average Swinger Profile

swingers facts

  • Swingers are people from literally ALL WALKS OF LIFE: doctors, nurses, business professionals, teachers, architects, marines/military personnel, parents, grandparents (yup), your cable guy, mailman, electrician, plumber, etc.
  • The swinging community is much larger than your think. The majority of these couples are in fact married an average of 10.5 years. Interestingly, according to research by McGinley (1995), 15% of U.S. couples have joined the swinging community. According to Cole and Spaniard (1974), 1.7 percent of their sample participated in swinging-related activities at least once in their life.
  • The average swinger is white, middle-aged (average 39 years old), middle/upper class, and college educated (at least 2 years of college). Women typically begin swinging after age 25; men after 30. Therefore, the “golden age” of swinging according to Fabio D’Orlando’s Swinger Economics research is 25-45 for women, and 30-50 for men.
  • Single swingers in the community may also participate in the action through threesomes (for men cuckholds and hotwifing). I explained these terms/practices in my previous post titled Intro to Fetishes and Sexual Paraphilia.
  • Through this, they are able to participate in fantasy fulfillment of the couple, while engaging in non-committing sex (WIN-WIN).
Swinging Practices

Swingers come in all shapes and sizes.

Yes, literally and in terms of their hook-up “rules”. Now, what do I mean by that? In the literal sense, there are young and hot swingers, and then there are older, not-so-hot swingers. In terms of their swinging practices, many times, couples start out in the “lifestyle” (yes, that’s another term for people in the swinging community), with voyeuristic/exhibitionistic activities (they watch other people have sex and get off on other people watching them have sex).

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Taking it a step further, some swinging couples only do “soft swap”, that means that they only make out and participate in oral intercourse with other couples, no vaginal/penile penetration. They save the best for their partner.

Other couples are “full swap”, pretty self-explanatory. However, this category of couples is further divided into three groups, same room, separate room, and playing completely separately. Whaaatttttt? Well, some couples prefer the “4-some” experience and get off on watching their partner having intercourse with another person. Some couples would prefer to “play” in separate rooms, but all in one vicinity. For the longest time, I have tried to figure out why couples would prefer separate rooms. I have come up with some possible reasons: a) to prevent jealousy related emotions b) for concentration purposes (it helps them focus…sometimes men experience visual overload and have a hard time getting hard/staying hard) c) they prefer one-on-one intimacy.

Now some couples, play completely separately, meaning that they have sex with other people on the side, WITH their partner’s knowledge, yet maintain their main, committed relationship. Mind blown!

But Why??

Well, the majority of surveyed swinging couples state that the reason for their choice of an alternative lifestyle is to spice up their sex life and their social life. According to data presented by Blevins-Williams & Bergstrand (2000), 62.6% of swingers revealed that swinging improved their marriage/relationship. Among the couples who stated their marriages were “unhappy” prior to swinging, 90.4% said their relationships improved after swinging.

Swinger individuals/couples explain that the lifestyle adds excitement to their lives, improving their social lives and their sex lives as they interact with other like-minded individuals. Basically, they do it, because it’s fun! It’s just recreational sex, they save the more intimate love-making moment for their significant others.

Interested in exploring what the swinging lifestyle community has to offer? Join the Swinging Lifestyle Community to find singles and couples in your area to explore your sexuality with.






  1. Nikki

    May 22, 2017 at 4:57 pm

    Absolutely loved this….breaking down stereotypes and educating the community. Hopefully people will begin to feel more comfortable discussing these topics since sex is extremely important in relationships.

    1. marlenagsalerno

      May 22, 2017 at 5:37 pm

      Thanks for your support Nikki xoxo

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